There is a biblical story about a man called Lot and his uncle, Abraham. Abraham loved Lot, but Lot eventually along the journey became a liability to him. One major thing I learnt from this biblical story is that there are some ‘Lots’ we take along in our journey of life that ultimately cost us a lot. The biblical story between Abraham and Lot clearly illustrates the fact that anytime you take someone with you that God has not authorised, it tampers with your destiny.
God asked Abraham to leave his siblings behind, so that he can take him to his place of destiny fulfillment, but Abraham was still emotionally attached to Lot, and this cost him a lot.
You are either a blessing or a burden; an asset or a liability; a problem solver or a problem. Your choice! It is not everybody that you are fond of that are assets to your life. We often times fall deeply in love with people that are liabilities to our future. How can you decipher this?
People Whose Stay In Your Life Is Over
Not everyone you lose is a loss. Trying to keep people in your life when they have overstayed their season of relevance in your life can be seriously inimical to your growth. Everybody has a season and a reason in your life. When people can walk away from you, let them walk. Don’t try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring for you, coming to see you or staying attached to you. When people can walk away, let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.
To be happy, you must let go of what is gone. Be grateful for what remains. Look forward to what is coming next. Most times, it doesn’t even mean that the people that left are bad or toxic; it is just that their part in your story is over. There are some people that need to leave your life for the best version of you to evolve. Don’t beg anybody… I repeat, don’t beg anybody to stay in your life.
Sometimes, you have to move on without certain people. If they are meant to be in your life, they would catch up.
People That Are Not Going In Your Direction
The wrong people are not necessarily bad people; they may be good people that are not going in your direction. Moving with people that are not going in the same direction as you would greatly set you back in life.
People Who Do Not Have Future Plans
Never plan a future with people who don’t have future plans. Some people are just okay living permanently in the present. They don’t have the big picture of the future. It is impossible to feature in a future that you cannot picture. Never build your life around a man without future plans.
People That Drain You
The people around you would either fuel you or drain you. How are they draining you? Some would drain you emotionally, some mentally, some financially and some would even drain you socially (they cut you off from empowering relationships).
Cut off people that drain your energy and embrace those that create positive vibes around you. Stay away from people that abuse you mentally, emotionally and physically.
People That Are Always Negative
You cannot hang out with negative people and expect to live a positive life. When the wrong people leave your life, the right things start to happen. You must be willing to let go of people that are short-circuiting your growth and progress. Tom Ziglar said: “Negative people don’t want solutions. Solutions mean they have to work to find something else to be negative about.” Negative people have problems for every solution. They are always full of negativity, even where none exists. They are addicted to negativity.
You cannot have positivity in your life while surrounding yourself with negative people. How far you would go in the journey of life is a function of the positive energy and people around you. Don’t expect to see positive changes in your life if you surround yourself with negative people.
Try spending more time around people that infuse positivity into you and affirm your worth. Negative people are liabilities to your future.
People That Don’t Appreciate Your Contribution In Their Lives
When your absence is not felt, then your presence is irrelevant. Stay around people and in places where you are appreciated and celebrated, not where you are tolerated.
People That Find Only Faults In Others
Henry Ford said: “Don’t find fault; find a remedy.” You would definitely need sincere feedbacks from people, but not from people with keen eyes for faults and are psychologically blinded to the ‘goods’ in others. Spend more of your time with people that help you find solutions and remedies to problems, not faults.
People That Cannot See Your Worth
Your value does not decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth. Try spending more time around people that affirm your worth and help you nurture your potentials. I have often said that when you learn how much you are worth, you would stop giving people discounts. Tim Fargo said: “If you want to improve your self-worth, stop giving other people the calculator.”
To avoid emotional trauma before they happen, we must constantly detoxify ourselves from four categories of people. Eliminate anyone who constantly lies to you, disrespects you, uses you and puts you down.
People That Are Insecure
When a man is insecure, it is either he sees everyone around him as inadequate or sees himself as inadequate. A healthy self-esteem is the greatest asset of any person. It ensures that we see everybody as a collaborator and not a competitor.
An insecure person would always ruin other people’s happiness, just because he cannot find his own. Baylor Barbee said: “Relationships fail because people take their own insecurities and try and twist them into their partner’s flaws.” Insecure people would always put an unhealthy demand on you. Their unhealthy demand for excessive validation and attention can cripple you emotionally. Insecurity would make your partner compete with you, instead of complementing you.
People With Bad Attitude
No matter how buoyant you are, staying around someone with bad attitude can significantly bankrupt your life. The greatest liability in life is a bad attitude. A man with a bad attitude is a liability to himself and every other person around him. Zig Ziglar said: “A bad attitude is like a flat tire; you can’t go anywhere until you change it.”
You would need people that believe in you, people that invest in your dreams and goals, people that would bring the best and not the stress out of you. Mark Twain said: “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
“When you are seeking to bring big plans to fruition, it is important with whom you regularly associate. Hang out with friends who are like-minded and who are also designing purpose-filled lives. Similarly, be that kind of a friend for your friends.”